Hope for the Hopeless
by clareabell7
Summary: You never really realize how lucky you are until you are slapped out of your selfishness by someone special. For Severus Snape that someone was Narcissa Black.
1. Chapter 1

Clareabell-

Hi! I wanted to thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this it's so nice of you! This is my first piece so pleaseeeee give me a break if it sucks and be nice about it when you tell me! This story features one of my favorite paring Snape/Narcissa! Just a little heads up I suck at spelling and grammar but I tried really hard to fix it in this story! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review I would love to hear what you think!

-Thank You so much and have an AWESOME day!

Chapter 1-

You never really realize how lucky you are until you are slapped out of your selfishness by someone special. We, as humans, tend to live lives built around our own problems. We don't stop to think about how lucky we may be to have lives of our own. We never realize how lucky we are until that single person comes and saves you and shows you the good in your life and the right path to choose. Before all of this happens we are fools. You and I both know we can't go through life being foolish. No matter how proud I Severus Tobias Snape may be I do admit I was foolish. I used to not care about anyone or anything other than myself. I loved a girl but ended up getting left in the dust hurt and alone in the end. At that time I had lost all hope and had become a bitter and selfish man. I never used to be like that. I used to care about others, I used to laugh, care, love, and live. But then that person I did all of those things for left into the arms of another man. My heart was broken. It turned into a withering, unfeeling organ. It seemed its only purpose was to keep me alive so I could live my worthless pathetic life on and on until I could pass and be let out of my misery. I did not feel. I did not care. I was a shell of a human and had no place in this world. I was hopeless. But then it came. The hope for the hopeless. Narcissa Black, my second love, the first being Lily Evans. Narcissa showed me the way out. She showed me I still had a heart, it just needed a little bit of care and love. She made it a point to me that hate was not the cure to a broken heart. "Hate, my dear, is what started all of this." No matter how hard I tried I could not prove her wrong. She was completely right as always. She healed me but god I hate myself for being too busy with my own problems to notice her pain. Though she was good at hiding it I still could have seen it. Narcissa was a good actress but her eyes gave away everything. She could have the brightest of smiles and the emptiest of eyes. Only when she was with that evil man where her eyes empty. I wasn't looking hard enough. I didn't know I loved her yet. However that come later in this story, back to the point. Narcissa, or Cissa as I like to call her, was my best friend at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was a Slytherin like all of my friends but didn't seem to belong there. She was a genius but not as good in potions as me, no that still remains my talent. However she excelled in everything else and was one of the most skilled healers I had ever seen. She was to kind to everyone in the other houses which made her very unpopular in our house. She had many friends don't get me wrong but none of them from our house…except me. Her and I where the odd ones in Slytherin…Okay I was the odd one in all of the houses…Anyways we bonded and soon became very close. Then many things happened, some good some horrible but they got us to where we are today. So allow me to tell you this tale of redemption, courage, love, and tragedy. But most of all a story of a man who found hope when hopeless. Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The first time I saw her was on the train to Hogwarts. I was sitting alone looking out the window. I couldn't wait to get to Hogwarts! My home life wasn't a happy one to say the least. My father drank every last penny he earned doing god knows what. My mother had died whale giving birth to me. I often tell myself this was why my father paid me so little mind and why he drank so much. It gave me some pity for the man. He had loved once but his heart was broken and all I did was reminding him of that fact. I find myself guilty often due to my mother's death but I knew she had not left, not really. She would forever be in my heart silently watching over me. I found myself pulling out the one thing I treasured more than life itself. It was a picture of my mother and father smiling up at the camera. They looked happy. So i allowed myself to dream of a different life. Of a life where my mother lived and my father had a good job. A life where I was loved and I loved back. I was pulled into reality by a soft high voice. "I'm so sorry to disturb you but I was wondering if I could sit here…If you would rather me not I could sit somewhere else." I looked up to see who was talking to me and found myself speechless. This girl was not like other girls. She had waist length platinum blonde hair that looked as if it was made of silk. She was pail like porcelain. She had the biggest eyes I had ever seen. They where they color of the sky on a warm spring day a happy blue some would call it. I was shocked to see that this girl had chosen to sit with me of all people, quickly I answered. "Uh… Sure I don't mind go ahead." She smiled as if I had just told her I had gotten her a puppy. "Oh! Thank you so much!" I nodded dumbfounded by her joy. She moved past me to put away her luggage and sat down on the opposite seat across from me. "My name is Narcissa Black by the way!" she chirped happily and stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you." I shook her hand. "Severus Snape." She smiled and paused to look out the window. "What is your favorite color?" she said not taking her eyes off of the window. I wasn't sure I heard her right. "Pardon?" I asked sounding as confused as I was. She looked at me this time her eyes bright with anticipation. "What is your favorite color Severus? Mines blue." I was utterly bewildered now but I chose to comply seeing as I needed a new friend. My favorite color? I had never thought about it before. I did wear a lot of black not really because I liked it but it was all I had. I guess I could just say that. "Black I guess…" she looked me straight in the eyes for a long time as if she was reading me like she would a very interesting book. Finally she released her gaze and I felt like I could move again. She spoke again this time with great truth in her voice. "No, no. Your color is not black. It's more of a chocolate brown warm and welcoming not black at all. Dark yes but black no. There is more to you than meets the eye Severus." I paused mouth gaping open. I shut it and thought. The more I thought about her statement. The more I ran the words through my head the more beautiful and fitting they sounded to me. I smiled for the first time in a long time. "Thank you. Thank you very much Narcissa." That was all I could say. She smiled obviously elated. Before I could even blink she moved next to me and hugged me. I was shocked to say the least. I had never been hugged by someone like her. Actually the more I thought about it I hadn't been hugged at all at least not sense I can remember. Something came over me a sudden rush of warmth over my entire body. I smiled and hugged her back. She let go and looked, if possible, more elated than before. "You and I are going to be great friends." She practically sang the words out of her mouth. I had the sneaky feeling we would be great friends as well.

After that we talked nonstop about everything we could think of. She made me laugh and smile more than I had ever in years. What surprised me more than that was the fact that I was making her laugh and smile and was actually talking with her. "What house do you think you will be in Cissa?" she had asked me to call her that seeing as her other name in her opinion made her seem narcissistic. She grew quiet for a moment but smiled. "My whole family has been in Slytherin." She said it almost as if it pained her. I smiled. "I didn't ask what house your family would be in." her smile broadened but then sank. "I don't have much of a choice. If I get into any other house besides Slytherin my mother and father…well that wouldn't be okay." Suddenly she looked scared and sad. Her face hid it well but it was all in the eyes they had minds of their own. She didn't seem to be able to control what her eyes said but he could tell she tried. I studied her face and then realized what she meant by the favorite colors statement. She wasn't just saying colors she was saying what she say in you. She was saying how she saw me and how she saw me was the best way I think I could ever be perceived. Then and there I knew exactly what to say to get my point across. "Cissa, you are more than just blue." I was surprised at how gentle these words sounded coming from my mouth but they seemed right. She looked as if she had just been told she had won one million Galleons. I had never seen such happiness yet sadness in one look. This time I found myself hugging her close without any warning. From that point Cissa was my best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay! So third chapter now up! Many thanks to LemonDropsWoolSocks for being the most awesomenest person ever and reviewing not just one but TWO chapters! LemonDropsWoolSocks I want to let you know I am working on the format! And I want you to let me know if this one I have decided to use for this chapter is better!

Many thanks! Enjoy!

Chapter three-

To start things off yes I do know that it is a widely known fact that Lily Evans was my best friend. I am aware of this. It is a common misconception. Lily Evans was my dream girl, my crush if you will. There is a great deal of a difference between crush's and best friends. Lily was a crush Cissa was a friend. Now that we have that settled I would like to continue my story. Ahem…

After the lovely ride on the train Cissa and I began to prepare to enter Hogwarts. I had never been more nervous or excited in my life…not yet anyways. We entered the boats all in awe of what we saw before us. A grand castle the tallest thing I had ever seen with ornate carvings all around it. This castle was as intimidating as it was breath taking. I knew right away this was it, this was…home. As we entered the castle gates I heard someone far away calling Cissa's name. She turned back looking completely different from the Cissa I saw on the train. She looked harsh, cold even; she seemed to have put on a mask of cold indifference a mask I would come to call her "Malfoy" face. But that comes later. A tall darkly beautiful girl appeared from the back of the crowed.

"Narcissa! I have been looking all over for you! Where have you been? You should be ashamed Mummy will hear of this."

At this I noticed Cissa involuntarily winced at the mention of "Mummy". I had come to the conclusion this was Cissa's older sister.

"I have been conversing and meeting people of my own age Bella "Mummy" said so."

Cissa spoke this with a voice that did not seem to belong to the Cissa I know. Though I had just met her I knew a fair amount about her actions and this was not the Cissa I had met. We were just like that we could read each other. The girl Bella seemed to realize I had been the once Cissa had met.

"Bellatrix Black." She introduced herself with a graceful incline of her head. I did not know this then but the Noble House of Black was a Noble House of lies. No one was who they seemed to be. Cissa was no exception save from when she was around me. There was no doubt about it the Blacks were natural born and raised actors and Cissa was one of them.

"Severus Snape." I did my best to seem calm, cool, and, collected. It seemed to be that I had passed the test for Bellatrix seemed to have become less tense. I took this time to study these two sisters. Bellatrix was in her fifth year for I noticed she came in the carriages. Cissa had the lighter almost nicer quality about her no matter how hard she tried to hide it from her sister. Bellatrix on the other had screamed intimidation and haughtiness. She was as dark on the outside as in.

From her skin to her hair and to her eyes. If you did not pay close attention to the two sisters you would not even realize they were related. They were very different. Bellatrix broke my train of thought.

"We do not know of any Snapes. What is your blood status may I ask?" she added the last part as if she knew I was not pure. It was as If she could smell it. Again I tried to remain calm, cool, and, collected.

"Half-Blood." Calm, cool, and, collected didn't work this time.

She smirked. "Come Cissy. Good day Mr. Snape." With that she roughly yet gracefully dragged Cissa away. Though it might have been the trick of the light i thought I saw the beginning of tears in Cissa's eyes. Later I would know why those tears where coming.

Out of the corner or my eye I saw a flash of bright red hair. I felt my heart leap with joy. And sure enough lily was by my side. Lily was perfect to me as well as everyone else. All thoughts of Cissa where washed from my mind as Lily stood by me.

"Waddya think Sev?" I was so busy being in awe I hadn't heard what she was saying.

"Sorry, didn't catch that say it again?" I could feel the red hot embarrassment creep up my shallow cheeks.

"I said I would like to be in Gryffindor! Geeze you got your head in the cauldrons you know that!" She laughed. Her laugh was like magic to me. No wand could ever bring that sound to my ears again.

"I don't know I think you would be good in any of the houses. I'm shooting for Slytherin myself or Ravenclaw." I preferred Ravenclaw but sense when where the fates in my favor?

"Ravenclaw. You are so a Ravenclaw. All brains." She was sure of this, I could tell.

"Thank you?" I laughed.

"Sev, I saw you talking to the Blondie who's she?" This question caught me off guard to say the least. I had forgotten all about Cissa.

"Oh…well when you went to go meet people she asked to sit with me and we became friends." Suddenly I felt bad I had not introduced them. I soon got over it. I was with Lily that was all that mattered.

"Does Sevie- Poo have a 'ickle crush?" She laughed and nudged me.

"NO! Not at all she's stuck up I wouldn't go for that type! A typical pureblood." I couldn't let Lily think I had my eyes on other girls I had to let her see she was my one and only. If it meant bashing my best friend so be it.

"Okay okay…oh…That's unfortunate…" Lily turned around suddenly she looked very ashamed of me.

"What do you mean?..." I saw it to Cissa was right behind me. She had heard the whole thing.

To lily and my amazement Cissa smiled.

"You must be Lily it is a pleasure to meet you." The same mask had appeared on her face only this time she used it with me as well. She shook a bewildered Lily's hand.

"Severus I wished to express my gratitude for you company on the journey it was most pleasant. Good day Severus, Lily it was a pleasure meeting you both." With that she turned a walked small dainty steps toward her sister.

There was no doubt about it, the Blacks were natural born and raised actors and Cissa was one of them.

I Hope this chapter was good I had a little trouble with it! Next up the sorting hat!


	4. Chapter 4

Boom Bam Shazam! Chapter 4 now up! Again I would like to thank LemonDropsWoolSocks and lalakid87 for their reviews! If you have any suggestions for the story I am all ears! Thank you so much for reading! Enjoy!

-Clareabell

Chapter 4

The moment of truth. The definition of what we truly are or what we will choose to be. It was time for us to be sorted. I stood by Lily whale quietly resisting the urge to hold her hand. I was bursting with excitement. Joy was etched in every part of my face. I looked back to see Cissa standing by her sister. She still had that face. The 'Malfoy' face.

I suddenly felt sad. I had hurt her. Best friends don t hurt each other. Bellatrix left to go sit with the Slytherins. Go figure she was in the bad group.

"I will place this hat on your head and you will sorted to your houses. Please pipe down as I call of names. Amy Anderson!"

I watched McGonagall call person after person. I saw with great surprise Cissa get called up and sorted into Slytherin. She did not seem over joyed nor did she seem upset. Her sister beamed and cheered seeming to wish to let everyone know Cissa was her sister, Cissa walked calmly toward the cheering Slytherin table an air of calm indifference about her.

She sat next to her sister and to a handsome blonde boy who gave her a knowing look. She nodded politely and turned back to Bellatrix. I faintly wondered how they knew each other but stopped when I heard Lily's name called. Lily to my dismay was sorted into Gryffindor, my least favorite house. She sat by a proud, handsome boy who shook her hand. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. Game over. No hope for Snape. I watched in sadness all of the others go.

"Severus Snape!" Barked McGonagall.

I slowly stepped forward, my legs shaking my heartbeat ringing in my ears. I sat on the stool and heard a sly voice whisper in my ear.

"Odd…Indeed yes…odd. You are not like many…no not at all…dark but not yet so…Quite…Quite…You have brains I see and a hard life has led you to be tolerant…There is a harshness about you…Courage yes but not all on the surface very deep…Kind but not overly so no, no not overly kind at all…better be…SLYTHERIN!"

I was shocked and hurt. I did not want to be a bad wizard. I sadly walked to the Slytherin table and sat across from Cissa. She smiled a knowing smile. She was just as happy to be in Slytherin as I was. Not happy at all. I was although relived Cissa was not angry with me. She did not say much but seemed to take her mask off once Bellatrix left to walk around the hall. After dinner we went to the common room. It was the grandest room I had ever seen.

The walls where a dark emerald and the sofas a black soft leather. A roaring fire was set in the fire place. Most of the people went to bed but I preferred to stay up a little longer and think. Who was that boy Lily shook hands with? Was he her friend? Did she have a crush on him? I could come up with so many questions but no answers. I heard voices coming from the stairs. I hid myself deeper into the sofa and tried not to pay attention.

"Cissy! You will listen to me! You have been PROMISED and you will not jeopardize that! You will become lady weather you like it or not! YOU WILL NOT DISHONOR THIS FAMILY! I will not allow you to have any feelings for that boy! Do you understand me? LOOK AT ME."

With that a loud smack came from the hallway and I heard a soft voice say.

"I understand Bella; I promise I will be a lady…I-it's all I want in the world. I will fulfill my duties t-to The Noble House of Black." Though I could not see her. I knew Cissa was hurt and it was all Bellatrix's fault. Rage filled my body but I stayed put not wanting to draw attention to myself.

"You better or you may not get away like Andromeda. If you don't keep your word Narcissi I promise you, you will not live another moment and no one will protect you." With that I heard footsteps and Bellatrix was gone.

I ran as fast as I could and found Cissa on the floor leaning against the wall a large red mark splashed across her face.

"Cissa…" she patted the ground as an indication for me to sit next to her.

"That was nothing of importance. It is something you will be told in time." I didn't try to pry. I had the slightest feeling I wouldn't want to know.

"Did she hurt you?" It was a dumb question but hey I was eleven give me a break.

"Of course but what is done is done she did not eternal damage. I feel for Bella, her heart is broken and no matter how hard she tries to break mine it stays intact. I think this is why she hates me."

She rubbed her now swelling cheek. She took out her wand and healed the injury immediately. Noticing my shock she turned to me and said.

"When living with Bella one learns." I decided to drop the subject for it seemed to bother Cissa.

"I am sorry for earlier…I didn't mean what I said…You're not a typical Pureblood." I looked into her eyes apologetically.

She smiled and patted my shoulder. "Of course you didn't mean it. You just didn't want Lily thinking you fancied me so to redirect her you bashed me. Quite understandable sense you adore her." Her smile broadened into a sly catlike grin.

"HOW?...I….I just…uh…How did you know I like her?" again the red hot embarrassment crept up my cheeks turning them an ugly pink.

"You would not have said those things if you did not feel for her in that way. I f you did not feel for her I would have been no threat there for would have not needed a good bashing." She was right as always.

"Well…How do you know I wouldn't have said those things?" I was determined to feel somewhat intelligent. I failed.

"Because you said to me "Cissa you are more than just blue." I wouldn't be more than just blue if I was a 'Typical Pureblood' now would I Severus?" I smiled and hugged her. For a brief moment I felt like I did when I was with Lily. As quickly as it came it was gone. As I watched Cissa walk up to the girl's dorm I couldn't help notice Cissa had changed. Some of the blue had washed out of her and she was fading into grey.


	5. Chapter 5

TAAAAADAAAA! Chapter 5 is now up! I can't believe it that people actually like me writing I am VERY surprised and elated haha! Thanks to LemonDorpsWoolSocks for your idea but I can't add Andromeda just yet because she has left Hogwarts already and ran off with Ted! I will try and add her though! Thank you lalakid87 I love to be told I am a MAGNIFICENT person haha it truly made my day! Keep reviewing and enjoy! Again if you have any suggestions do tell!

Clareabell

Chapter 5-

My first semester of Hogwarts was the best nine months of my life. I was, to my great surprise, passing all of my classes. But best of all Lily was in my potions class and she was my partner. When I saw her sit next to me I could hear the hallelujah chorus. She was perfect. I could have spent the whole period watching her work but I was not a complete dunderhead, however I do dare to dream.

"Sev…You okay?" Lily was looking at me worriedly. I had been staring again.

"Oh…yea…yes all good…uh…Did you stir in the unicorn tears?"

"Yes I finished the potion haha! You weren't listing to me so I just went ahead and finished. If you don't start working I may just get a new partner Slughorn loves me I'm sure he will move me anywhere!" I knew she was joking but it hurt none the less.

"I'm sorry Lily I've just got lots on my mind. I promise it won't happen again!" I shot her a pleading look.

"Sev I'm just kidding! Merlin get a grip man!" She laughed lightly and went back to stirring the potion.

Trying my hardest not to look at Lily I looked around the room until I found Cissa. She had already finished her potion as well and was watching us whale stirring it she smiled a friendly smile which I retuned. I watched her she seemed older, and worn. It was if someone had sucked the life out of her. I quickly brushed away those thoughts. It was none of my business and Lily was beside me. Cissa can take care of herself.

The bell rang. I gathered my courage and turned to Lily.

"Hey, Lily do you want to sit on the grounds with e and have lunch?" Calm, cool, and, collected why must you always fail me?

"Oh...sorry Sev but I'm sitting with James and his lot today maybe next week! See ya!" with a final happy wave she left me crushed in the potions room.

I sat alone on the grounds silently eating my lunch pouting, and brooding over the fact that Lily didn't want to sit with me.

"May I sit here?" I looked up to see Cissa.

"Of course Cissa." I faked a smile and scooted over to make room for her.

"You know you should just tell her you like her. Honesty is the best policy, not that it isn't obvious you adore her." She smiled her cat like grin once again, her mask slowly melting away.

"I'm not even going to try to understand how it is you know everything Cissa." When you knew Cissa like I did these sudden outbursts of truth where common. You get used to it. I sighed.

"I don't think that's a good idea Cissa…I mean what is she rejects me? She doesn't even like me back…" I was close to tears. Childish I know.

"If you truly believed she was a lost cause then you would have moved on already. Anyways if she rejects you she rejects you and you move on. Lily isn't the type to hold a grudge so I am assuming your friendship would still be intact. Go for it." She smiled and nudged me.

"I couldn't get over her." This is true I can't get over Lily but that is because she was my dear, dear friend. She will always be so. But I did move on. Cissa saw to that.

"Of course you can. First you would forget her smell. Then her face. After a while you would struggle to remember the exact color of her eyes. Finally you would forget her laugh. And one day you will wake up and she will be gone. She would just be another friend." She was looking up to the sky now smiling.

"Cissa your wrong I could nev-…" She had held up her hand to stop me.

"Severus be happy you have the chance to love. Be happy you have the right to choose. Use that right and take that chance before its gone forever." She was still looking up at the sky I noticed how beautiful she was. The feeling came over me again. The 'Lily' feeling. The feeling of want, need, and complete admiration. I struggled for words but I didn't know what to say. Again all I could come up with where questions. So I asked one.

"Don't you have that choice as well?" She turned her head gracefully and looked me in the eyes. She smiled.

"Some of us are not so lucky." For a brief second I could see a flash of great sadness in her eyes. She spoke again and the look was gone.

"I could help you with your Lily problem if you want." She turned her head to the sky once again the sunlight shining off her with blonde hair.

"REALLY?" I practically did a backflip in midair. She could help! She would help! I was saved!

All thoughts of her previous statement where pushed to the "I don't care because it has nothing to do with Lily" part of my brain.

"Of course I will help you! You are my best friend! Meet me in the common room 12:00 and I will start tutoring you…We-"

She was cut off by the same shrill cry of "Nacissa!"

"Oh…Excuse me I have to be going. Meet me tonight." With that she ran to her sister and walked up to the school.

Cissa and I continued our nightly studies for the rest of the year. She taught me how to be a gentleman, flirt, and all about the magical world of girls. We seemed to be making progress Lily sat more and more with me at lunch. She was paying more and more attention to me everything was going according to plan. One thing was wrong though I still had no courage to actually tell Lily my feelings. One night we discovered how long this might take.

"Look…Cissa I'm just not ready…" It was the last week of school and I had yet to tell Lily.

"We will try again next year." She smiled and patted me on the shoulder.

We did try again the next year. No success. Third year not much better. Fourth year the same. And in Fifth year everything went wrong.

We all were older and wiser. Cissa had matured into a beautiful young woman who looked at least twice her age and acted just as such. Lily was as mesmerizing as ever. Every time I saw her my breath caught in my throat. Then it happened. I finally got the courage to tell Lily. I walked up to her thinking we were alone. I taped her shoulder.

She turned around. "Oh! Hey Sev! What's up?" She smiled. And it all slipped out.

"I love you… I love you." Shit. Shit. Shit.

James Potter my sworn enemy stepped from behind a tree.

"Hey Snnivelly what are you doing talking to my girlfriend?"

My heart broke in two. Girlfriend. James and Lily. Shit.

"Sev…I meant to tell you it happened over the summer… I'm so sorry." Lily was on the verge of tears.

"Don't say sorry to him the little prat! I'll show him whose boss! LEVISCORPUS!"

I was lifted into the air by my ankle all of my books dropped on the ground and so did my pants.

"James stop!" Lily shouted crying.

James ignored her. "Hey everybody look!" He shouted. Gryffindor's, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and, Slytherins alike all gathered around roaring with laughter. The last bit of my heart was torn away.

"James! Put him down!" Lily pushed James down causing him to release the spell.

"Sev…I'm so sorry…Sev…" She tried to help me up but I pushed her to the ground.

"YOU THINK I NEED HELP FROM YOU? YOU FILTHY MUDDBLOOD?" I ran as fast as I could hot tears pouring down my face. I entered the common room and collapsed on to the wall. I sat there sobbing for who knows how long. I heard soft footsteps come from the staircase.

"Severus? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Cissa sat next to me and pulled me to her chest making soothing noises as she patiently waited for answers.

I spoke. "Lily…I told her…James…James and Lily are together…He heard…And he he…He hexed me…Lily tried to help but I was just so angry…I pushed her and called her…a…a…a….Mudblood…Now she hates me and I am the laughing stock of the school…Oh Cissa!" I sobbed into her shirt. I was hopeless utterly hopeless. Nothing could help me.

"Shhhh…Shhhh…It's going to be alright…Shhh Severus its okay." She held me there like a mother would a child and slowly I calmed down.

"I think I'm better Cissa…Thanks." I moved her away and became aware of what was beside Cissa. A suitcase.

"What's that for?" I stood pointing at her. I was horrified the only person who was truly there for me was leveeing. My mended heart was broken again.

"Severus let me explain…Please sit. Its time you knew."

I sat and urged her to go on.

"Ever sense I was three years old my life has been planned for me. I was promised to be married to Lucius Malfoy. The wedding was set for the day I turn sixteen which is tomorrow…Remember when I told you that you were lucky to have a choice in your life and in the person you love? That was right after I had been told I would not finish Hogwarts and instead be a house wife. Bellatrix and my parents were adamant that I marry Lucius. Not only for his money and power but because my eldest sister, Andromeda, had just run off with a Muggleborn giving our family a bad name. I was their last hope in order to climb back up to the top of the Pureblood social society. I would be taking it in stride but…It's been hard…For I fell in love with someone else…"

Time to take a break from the story to inform you of some things. How could I have not seen she was in so much pain thorough all of those years? How could I have been so selfish to not notice my best friend was in deep pain? Easy because my mind was so clouded with thoughts of Lily I didn't see what I had right before me a friend who was always there for me something Lily was not. I bet now you expect me to tell you that I told Cissa I loved her to and we kissed and lived happily ever after? I am sorry to say this is not what happened. Like I have told you my heart was broken. Shattered into a million pieces. The only girl I had ever loved hated me and was in the arms of the enemy. I knew Cissa had meant she loved me but I had no room for love anymore. This is where I made the biggest mistake of my life.

"I love you Severus…" There were tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Cissa…It can never be…I love Lily always have and always will and you are about to get married…It can't be it just…Cant…I'm so sorry Cissa so sorry…I just don't have the heart to love anymore…You better go."

The look on her face was like a knife to my heart. She bent down and kissed my cheek.

"Take care Severus." With that she left and I knew Cissa had just forever faded into grey.

-Clareabell

Sad ending I know but don't worry things will work out next chapter! The next one might be later because I am taking a ton of Honors classes and am always swamped with homework! I promise I will try to update asap! PLEASE REVIEW!

Lots of love

Clareabell!


	6. Chapter 6

WOOOHO! Chapter 6 is now up! To LemonDropsWoolSocks I am trying really hard to include Andromeda and she will pop up if only briefly in the next chapter I hope she is up to your standards if not tell me and I will fix it! And to lalakid87 you crack me up! I thought someone would think the story ended there it did seem like it could but no I wouldn't do that to cissy and sev it's just not fair! And you are exactly right Cissy will mend his heart maybe not in this chapter but she will get around to it! Lastly but never least to singingequestrian89 I am so glad you like my story that means a lot! And you summed up what happened to Cissa right then and there a perfect explanation 20 points to whatever house you are in! Thank you for your understanding about the honors thing and for you luck I'm going to need it! Thank you all for commenting and as I have said before any suggestions comments concerns loves or hates I am all ears for!

Enjoy!

Clareabell

Chapter 6

I was a broken man. After the Lily incident and Cissa's marriage my heart was replaced with a cursed device that was designed to hate anyone and anything. After Cissa had left I realized I had shared her feelings but it was too late she was lost forever to powerful, rich, handsome Lucius Malfoy. I buried those feelings deep inside me. Inside a place only Cissa could reach. I had lost my heart and the one person who could find it and mend it was lost as well. Hopeless, heartless, hopeless. After my Seventh year at Hogwarts I left and did the only thing a heartless person could do. I joined the Death Eaters.

"Rise." Said the cold high voice.

Lucius Malfoy patted me on the back and said

"You are one of us now." At the time I thought that this was all I could have ever wanted. But I still had Lily and Cissa tucked away in the deepest most secret inner corners of my mind.

After the Dark Mark ceremony Lucius caught up with me.

"Some of the others are coming to a small get-together at my Manor I would be most delighted of you joined us." He smiled.

"It would be an honor." What did I just do? Did I just agree to go to Cissa's house? Yes I did. Shit.

"Wonderful, Come I will escort you there." Lucius and I walked to the apparition point and apparated together for there. Malfoy Manor was one of the most darkly beautiful things I had ever seen. It was four stories tall with jet black stone and grey roofing. In the garden there were what looked to be albino peacocks. Lucius lead me to the front door and into his and Cissa's home.

"Have you met my wife Severus?" Lucius broke my train of thought.

"No I do not believe so." I don't know why but I thought it best that Lucius was kept in the dark about Cissa's and my friendship.

"I must introduce you! NARCISSA! Get down here we have guests." I could already tell this was a loveless marriage. Not just the fact that Cissa did not want to marry Lucius in the first place but because of the way Lucius talked about her as if she was some sort of trophy. Which she was.

I heard a small sad voice call down the stairs.

"Just in the nursery dear I will be right down."

Lucius looked displeased I would soon learn it is never good when Lucius is displeased.

"Do hurry up Narcissa." He growled the words out like a dog who had just had its bone taken away.

I however was hung up on Cissa's statement. Nursery. She had said she was in the nursery. It couldn't be…

"Ahhh…There you are my darling." Lucius said. "Allow me to introduce my wife Narcissa."

I looked up to see a beautiful young woman with a long pail face the color of porcelain. Her eyes the color of the sky on a summer's day and still the largest eyes I have ever seen. Her face had not changed at all except she bore a thin scar just under the right side of her jaw.

When I got her alone she will tell me where that came from. Weather she wants to or not. She was thin, almost to the point of being unhealthy, except for her large protruding belly. Cissa was pregnant.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Malfoy, Severus Snape at your service."

Cissa did not look shocked nor happy, sad, or angry; she looked the same as she did when she came down the stairs. She looked like she was a doll, a puppet, sad and out of control she looked broken. And she was.

Lucius broke the silence. "Darling, Severus has just joined my club isn't that wonderful you know how we have been looking for a skilled member! We were so lucky to have found you Severus!" I was shocked. He wasn't even telling her the truth, a club he called it. Some club.

"Lovely indeed Lucius dear, Mr. Snape I am happy to welcome you into our home." She gave a graceful incline of the head just as Bellatrix had once done to me and a small smile. That single Mr. Snape was worse than an 'I hate you'.

"Would you like to be shown around the house Severus? I am sure Narcissa will be more than willing."

This was it this was my chance to talk to her alone. "That would be lovely."

"Wonderful, You two go on I have some other guests to attend to. Excuse me." With one graceful swish of his cloak Lucius was gone.

"Cissa…Where did you get that scar? Was it Lucius? I have seen what he has done…" She had held up her hand as a signal for me to stop.

"Don't act for a moment as if you care. And I would advise you not to speak ill of Lucius and what he has done…You are no better. Now come I was supposed to be giving you a tour." She did not seem angry or agitated but there was coldness in her voice that had never existed in the Cissa I knew.

I obeyed her command and followed her down a dark hallway filled with pail regal look looking faces all staring down at us with haughty sneers. Cissa lead me to a small blue room and muttered many complicated incantations at the door. She turned around and motioned for me to sit. I did as I was told.

"I do apologize if I was harsh Severus but this is the only room where Lucius does not have spies. Now you asked about my scar. Yes it was from Lucius no it was not an accident. And no I do not care." The look in her eyes said otherwise.

"Cissa…You need to get out of here." I lightly touched the scar I could tell it had been a deep gash. "It's not right…"

"When I said 'Don't act for a moment as if you care.' I meant it Severus."

"Of course I care Cissa! How could you say that?" I was deeply hurt but then again she had a right to feel this way I had broken her heart just as Lily did mine.

"I think you could answer that for yourself after all the words came out of your own mouth. 'I love Lily always have and always will'. Don't act for a minute as if you give a damn about how I feel when you have you precious Lily. Did you ever try to contact me after I left NO! So what makes you think that I should believe you when you say you care about whether or not I get hurt when you didn't even bother to check on me! You didn't care when you ripped my heart out so why Severus should you care now? I know what you have become and I am ashamed of you." She collapsed into the chair closest to her and sobbed.

I had never seen her like this it was as if all of her past emotions over the years had spilled out of her. It was then when I abandoned all reason, walked over to her and held her in my arms just like she did when I had called Lily a mud blood.

"I-I missed you so much Severus…Lucius…He…He hit me for not giving him an heir fast enough when I became pregnant and had a girl he…He gave her up for adoption and said we would t-try again. I was so upset I begged him to bring her back but he wouldn't hear it and that's how it got the scar…"

"Shhhh Cissa…That child is far better off without Lucius in its life." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"This one is a boy." She sniffed. She smiled and rubbed her stomach. Without thinking I did the same.

She looked up into my eyes a pleading look on her face. "I'm scared Severus…Lucius might lose his temper one day and…and kill me…I don't want him to raise my baby…Severus promise me you will take it if that happens promise me you will raise him please." She looked so helpless and so afraid so unlike the Cissa I knew. I couldn't speak I did not know what to do. She looked deep into my eyes and after what seemed like an eternity she spoke.

"There is hope for you Severus. You are still that young boy who was kind enough to share a seat with me on the train; you are still that boy who would cut off his own foot for Lily Evans. Your heart is not lost forever it just may take a little while to find it." She looked down and whispered. "I still love you."

I looked into her eyes. Before I knew what I was doing I kissed her. This kiss was nothing short of a dream. I was the most right thing in the world. All of our troubles and worries where gone just for a moment the world was at peace. We pulled apart and I found the exact words to express what I was feeling.

"You had my heart all along…It just took me a while to realize you had stolen it. I love you Cissa Black."

Haha I was bored and couldn't sleep and this is what happened I hope you like it it's not my best chapter but eh whatever next up Severus changes sides, falls in love, and loses a dear friend. Oh and Draco is born duh lol! Thank you all!


	7. Chapter 7

And so the madness begins Chapter 7 up! I want to thank you all for reviewing the story and sticking with it! It means a lot to me and has encouraged me to keep writing! As for singingequestrian89 AW I am so happy you related to my story and best of luck with your finance! To lalakid87 thank you so much for your hilarious reviews they truly make my day haha I promise you will meet the little girl…much later on but you will still meet her! To LemonDropsWoolSocks I have been planning to fit Andromeda in the whole story so it's no trouble at all! I am so happy you all love this story! THANK YOU!

Enjoy!

Chapter 7

"We attack the Potters, and we rid ourselves of the last thing that could stand in our way. We will be VICTORIOUS!" The Dark Lord's words rang in my head over and over again.

I was sitting at the dining table of Malfoy manor. My mind was racing. Had I heard him right? Lily.

No, no this could not be. He would hurt her. He would kill Lily and Lily's son. No. I would not let another love be lost to the Dark Lord. No, not this time.

Once the company left Malfoy Manor and Lucius retired to his chamber with a mysterious girl I found Cissa. Cissa was never at the meetings The Dark Lord thought she could not be trusted and he was right.

Shortly after her marriage to Lucius she turned to spy for Dumbledore, bringing him inside information. However Voldemort became suspicious of her treachery so he banned her from the meetings. He did not feel the need to punish her. He knew Lucius would see to that.

Without Cissa Dumbledore lost his only source of inside information.

I couldn't let Lily or her son be harmed. No matter how much I hated James it was only right to admit he did not deserve to die either.

I had to tell Cissa. I ran to the nursery.

"Cissa…something terrible has happened…"

She walked over to me and placed a loving hand on my cheek.

"What is it dearest?" Great worry could be seen in her blue eyes.

"The Dark Lord plans to kill Lily's son…You know that he will kill her to…Cissa I don't know what to do…" I looked down and felt hot tears begin to burn the inner corners of my eyes.

She gently turned my head to face her. "Become a spy…Severus you are the most accomplished occlumise I know…Go to Dumbledore. You must."

"Cissa he won't want me…He won't trust me…"

"Having a heart can be a great benefit in many areas, you just found yours. He will see you are of pure intentions, He is not stupid Severus he will know…Go before it is too late. Voldemort does not wait long."

I nodded and turned away. She grabbed my waist and hugged me. "Please be safe Severus. I love you."

I turned around and kissed the top of her forehead and place a hand on her stomach. Even though the child was not mine I thought I was as close to a father the child would get I might as well act like it.

"I promise. Get some rest Cissa, please don't worry…" with a final I love you I apparated to Hogshead. I walked into the castle I once called home and into the Headmasters office.

Before I had even knocked I heard a soft voice say. "Enter."

"Professor…I trust you know why I have come. I-"before I could say any more he had held up a hand to stop me.

"Cissa sent me her patronus and explained everything. My dear boy I cannot begin to express how proud I am of you." He smiled a fatherly smile. It faded and he looked suddenly solemn.

"This is a dark matter…But I believe we can save the Potters. When is Tom planning to strike?" A dark cloud passed over his face as he said Voldemort's real name.

"On the child's birthday…I was hoping you would know when that is Professor."

"Please call me Albus, and yes we do not have much time at all…Harrys birthday I am afraid is tomorrow…"

A chill ran down my spine. "Tomorrow? We…We must act now!" I stood up and walked toward the door.

"Severus…please sit. If we act to soon Tom will know that someone in his ranks had told me. You know who he would blame…"

Realization dawned on me. "Cissa…"

"Precisely…I think it would be best to tell the Ministry and trust Pettigrew to warn James and Lily. He is a spy as well but not very useful he is scared of Tom…However I am sure we can trust him he loves James and Lily."

Dumbledore walked to the window and wrote a quick letter. He stuck the letter out the window. An owl immediately swooped down to grab it.

"I will do all I can to protect them Severus trust that…However it is possible our efforts may fail…I will try my best." He looked down. I took this as a sign to leave.

I stood. "Please tell me any information and let me know if I can help." I left his office and returned home.

I had a troubled sleep. Dreams haunted me. Dreams of a baby crying, a lighting shaped scar on his head... And Lily lying on the floor, pail and unmoving. I woke with a start.

"Just a dream…" I told this over and over to myself but it had been so real…A horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach rose to my throat.

An owl tapped at my window. I opened the letter as slowly as possible for fear of what it might contain.

'Dear Severus,

Meet me in my office. Immediately.

Yours sincerely,

Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore'

I quickly dressed and apparated. I made my way up to Albus's Office.

A voice, heavy with sorrow answered. "Enter."

I bolted in. "Are they safe?"

He did not answer.

"ARE THEY SAFE?" I shouted it this time tears pouring down my face.

"The boy lives…But Lily and James…we were to late…Pettigrew had us fooled all along he betrayed us…"

I collapsed against a wall sobbing. She was gone. Gone forever. The ghost of Lily's last laugh echoed in my ears.

Albus rose and patted my on my back. "You did all you could Severus. The prophecy came true. Harry vanquished Tom. Lord Voldemort is no more…for the time being."

I quieted a fraction. "Where will the boy be taken?"

"To his aunts and uncles. I will be taking him there shortly. I am so sorry Severus." I could tell he was.

"You think he will come back don't you?" I looked up at him, he gave a small nod.

"I will do all in my power to protect him at this school. It's what Lily would have wanted." Somewhere far away I knew she was happy, I knew she was watching me and thanking me for protecting her son, just like my mother was watching.

"Indeed she would...Indeed she would. You are a great man Severus. Remember that." He gave me another comforting pat and spoke again.

"I must be leaving soon. You should go and visit Miss. Black they just took her husband to Azkaban to await trial. She may need you just as you need her. You may use the floo." With that he turned away and walked out of sight.

I walked over to the fireplace and shouted "Malfoy Manor!" In an instant Cissa was there her arms around me.

"Oh Severus…I'm so sorry." I wrapped my arms around her and silently cried whale allowing her to sooth my sorrows.

I don't know how long we stayed like that but to me it felt like the safest place in the world. I pulled away and she stroked my cheek.

"What do you need?" she asked concern etched in her voice.

"I need you Cissa." It was true I needed my best friend and my true love there right beside me.

"Of course." She smiled and took my hand. "Come." She led me into the sitting room and had a house elf make us tea. We sat and talked for hours about Lily and all of the absurd things I did for her. We reminisced about the good days when everything was fine and all of our worries nonexistent.

This is what Lily would have wanted. She would have wanted me to be happy and I was.

For the next week I stayed with Cissa at Malfoy Manor. We were re building our own peaceful world that we had created during Hogwarts. This world had been destroyed by Lucius and James. But neither of them could touch it now.

I sat at the kitchen table waiting for Cissa to come down to breakfast. I heard her soft footsteps travel down the stairs. She said nothing but simply placed the Daily Prophet on the table.

We had been through this before. No matter how hard we tried I could not bring myself to read Lily and James obituaries. Every day it was the same she would bring the same Prophet down and I would stare at it.

I didn't want it to be real. It couldn't be real. I thought I was getting better that it was getting easier. I thought of Lily's laugh and how I would never hear it again that thought alone brought tears to my eyes. I wasn't getting better and it sure wasn't any easier.

I looked down and choked back a sob. "I can't do it Cissa…I can't admit that its real…I thought it was getting easier but every day she's gone it gets harder and harder to accept." Cissa placed a gentle hand on my cheek and turned my face towards her.

"But Severus, it is real. There is no use in playing pretend. She isn't really gone Severus, she is only as gone as you make her to be. Just try dearest please." I turned away and stared at the Prophet.

Slowly I reached for it. I turned the page. To my surprise there were no words just pictures upon pictures upon pictures. At the top there was a small inscription.

'No words can describe our loss. It's best to fill our hearts and heads with pictures of the happy past than to fill them with words of the solemn present.'

As I looked at the pictures of the happy family I couldn't agree more.

I could not tell you how long I looked at those pictures or how many times I did. I took one last look and turned to Cissa. She was gazing at me an expression of deep thought on her face. She spoke.

"The funeral is tomorrow…I think it would only be right to go." I couldn't agree with her more.

The day was cool and sunny, a mockery of the sad events which had taken place. There were easily seven hundred people in attendance. Each held a white lily in their hand and threw it on to the caskets.

No one wore black everyone was dressed in a light green. Lily's favorite color. I stayed behind and knelt at the graves.

"I will never forget you." I whispered. I felt Cissa hand on my shoulder. It was time to go hope. Peace had been made.

I had come to the decision that it was my turn now to pressure Cissa into something that needed to be done but she couldn't bring herself to do. She needed to leave Lucius. I tried for weeks. Nothing Cissa would not budge she was scared I knew it. Every time her answer was the same.

"If I leave him I would put your life into more danger than it already is just because Voldemort is gone doesn't change the fact that Lucius is a trained killer. I will not do that to you Severus end of discussion."

No matter how hard I tried the answer was no. I had brought up this topic I could map out or conversation.

"We could leave and move far away."

"Too much of a hassle and you forget he keeps track of my every move."

"We could fake our deaths."

"I am not living my life as something I am not, I have done that enough for one lifetime."

"You're not going to budge are you?"

"Not unless you come up with a brilliant idea no, eat your breakfast dear."

I kept at it over and over again but she was true to her word. She would not budge.

I had been at it again all morning this time but suddenly Cissa got very still and very pail. She set her tea cup on the table.

"Cissa what's the matter?" I felt the worry boil inside me once again I wondered if I had overstepped a mark.

"I do believe…" She paused and laughed a shaky laugh. "I do believe Lucius is going to miss his own son's birth."

Panic did not even describe the emotion I was feeling. I rushed her as fast as I could to Mungos Hospital to the emergency wing. They quickly escorted Cissa and me to a room. A happy Doctor came into the room and introduced herself as Dr. Tonks.

Yes I know I should have known right off the bat that this was the sister Cissa had mentioned but I was a bit preoccupied with my screaming friend who was about to break my hand. Dr. Tonks or Andromeda smiled and began happily chirping away.

"Let's have a baby shale we?" She began working. Cissa screaming away. I had never been in a more awkward position. Watching Andromeda work was like looking at a busy bee. She was buzzing about the room never resting.

She had a kind face. Not filled with haughtiness like Bellatrix's or an emotionless mask like Cissa's. She had the same bright colored eyes and high cheek bones cissa did. Her slim frame was the same as Bella's but her smile was not like either of theirs. It was constantly filled with warmth.

Cissa suddenly began to grow weak and I in turn began to grow worried.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing Dr.?" I snapped.

"Positive." She smiled. "Don't think I would slack off on my own sister now! Mother may hate me but Cissa was always there! If it was Bella here I promise you things would be a different story. Just relax Mr. Snape. It will all be over soon." With that she got back to work leaving me completely dumbfounded.

One thing was for sure her and Cissa shared the same quality of making you feel like an idiot.

Andromeda was right it was all over soon. Within seconds I saw a little screaming boy being hoisted into the air. He had his mother's hair. I smiled overwhelmed with joy. Andromeda gave the child to Cissa.

"He is beautiful Cissa." She smiled and gave her exhausted sister a hug. "Just like his mum."

"Thank you so much Andy." Cissa smiled and hugged her back. Andromeda turned to me.

"You take care of them ya hear? The last thing they need is another ass of a man in their lives." I smiled and turned to her.

"I promise thank you so much." She hugged me and walked quietly out of the room.

Cissa lay in the bed holding the tiny bundle in her arms humming softly whale her hand caressed his face. Though a young age Cissa was a wonderful mother I could see that already. She motioned for me to come over to the bedside.

I looked down upon them. Mother and Child.

"What will you call him?" I was no good with names and prayed she would not ask me for ideas.

"Draco." She answered immediately. "My little star." She smiled at him fondly. I sat on the edge of the bed and snaked my arm around her giving her a soft kiss on the head.

"Do you want to hold him?" She asked not taking her eyes off of Draco.

"I can't think of anything I would rather do." She gently handed him to me and settled herself against the pillows. Though she tried to hide it she was exhausted and soon fell fast asleep.

I stared down at the small infant and talked to him. I talked to him about his mother, and his father, and me.

"I will be the father you deserve little one that is a promise." He looked up at me he had his mother's eyes. Slowly his eyes closed and he to fell asleep.

I made many promises in my life this was one I was sure to keep.

Clareabell- AWWWW Baby Draco! Haha! I'm not so sure about this chapter...but I thought it was good enough to post!


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you all for commenting! I hope you all re-read chapter 7!

Enjoy!

Chapter 8

Just as things seem to be going perfectly something happens and that wall of comfort breaks down revealing the dark harsh reality. This reality was Lucius was coming back.

Cissa and I had been having the most peaceful two months of our lives. We had spent them almost entirely on Draco. He was, is, the light of our lives. The longer we went without hearing about Lucius the less real he seemed to be. We had been living our dream life. We had all we needed, the perfect child, the perfect house, and each other, everything was right, all was at peace. Until that faithful day when the letter arrived.

Cissa was in the nursery, as usual, getting Draco ready for our annual outing to the park. I sat in the study reading the Potions curriculum for this school year. Albus had defended me and told the court of my true loyalties, however that just meant they didn't throw me in Azkaban it didn't mean people had to be nice or hire me. I was in desperate need of a job but no one wanted to hire an ex DeathEater and I couldn't blame them, I would not hire someone who could have killed one of my loved ones.

In pure desperation I went to Albus and he was kind enough to give me a job teaching potions. I smiled. I could do these textbook potions in my sleep with one hand tied behind my back. If only some were as talented as I. I heard a small tap at the window and saw a great eagle owl siting on the windowsill. It was a Ministry owl.

"Odd…"I said this aloud and grabbed the letter, I began to read.

'To whomever this may concern,

Lucius Abraxas Malfoy has been released from Azkaban and found not guilty by the Wizanagamot Court. Lucius shale arrive two weeks prior to next. Do understand house arrest will be necessary . The Ministry of Magic will deliver a notice to when his house arrest will be lifted.

Yours truly,

Cornelius Oswald Fudge.'

The letter fell to the floor, along with my tears. The wall Cissa and I had built, the wall of complete ignorant bliss, came tumbling down.

Cissa came in the room carrying happy cooing Draco.

She smiled. "All ready to go?" I turned around to face her. Her smile faded. I handed her the letter.

"No." This seemed all she was capable of saying.

"Cissa, you can't raise Draco with Lucius as his father. Y-"

She attempted to speak but I was tired of her excuses.

"Narcissa! Don't be ignorant! I never thought you could be this nieave! DAMN YOU WOMAN!" Tears where falling down her cheeks. I was terrified, I sounded just like Lucius. She looked up at me and spoke.

"I'm scared Severus…I did try to leave once after he took away my baby and if it wasn't for Andy I would have died…I was all the way in France Severus…FRANCE and he found me…I'm afraid it's not just me he would hurt.." She placed a hand on my shoulder.

Then it hit me. House arrest. Lucius would be under house arrest for merlin knows how long. That would give us enough time to cover our tracks! That was the brilliant idea we had been waiting for!

"Cissa, Lucius is going to be under house arrest, Aurors will be all around your house for months on end there is no way he can escape. Dumbledore could give us protection, please Cissa…For Draco."

She was silent for a minute. She looked up, nothing but determination in her eyes.

"For Draco." With that she waved her wand and all of her and Draco's belongings began to pack themselves.

I smiled. "What about my things?"

"You damned me you pack your own things. Come, come now hop to it." She smiled and nudged me.

Within three hours we both had packed. Cissa stopped just at the gate of Malfoy Manor.

"What is it Cissa?" I walked over to her and placed a hand on her back.

"It's just I am leaving the only life I know behind…I never thought I could be free.."

I bent down and kissed her, she turned away ready for a new beginning.

We shrunk our bags and made our way to Hogwarts, Draco being a baby we could not apparate. I had never hated muggles more.

"We are never taking a muggle train again…" I sulked.

"Draco and I found it quite fun! Didn't we sweat heart? Yes we did! Yes we did!" She continued to tickle and cuddle Draco completely unaware of my complaints. Albus was waiting there for us at the gates.

"Hello little one." He stuck out his hand to Draco who grabbed hold of Albus's finger.

Albus looked at Cissa. "Dear child you have suffered to much please be comforted by the fact you will suffer no longer under my care, I will make sure of that. All packed are we Severus?"

I Nodded and thanked him for his great generosity.

"It was nothing dear boy nothing at all. Allow me to show you your new home." He smiled that familiar twinkle in his eye. He walked us to the back of the grounds behind the great castle. What we saw was unbelievable.

The house was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, with a perfect garden and an elegant sycamore tree. From the warm brown color of the brick to the sky blue color of the door we knew this was home.

We continuously thanked Albus but he would hear none of it and left us to enjoy our evening warning us that he would be off the grounds to explain to the Ministry that he needed enforced protection on the grounds due to Lucius. "Do not worry I am sure you are perfectly safe I will return soon!" With one last parting wave he apparated and was gone. Seeing as this was quite an eventful day Draco went straight to bed. The house, to our great surprise, was as perfect as the outside and was decorated just to our tastes. We could not have asked for more.

As I was looking around waiting for Cissa to come back down stairs I noticed a little black box on the kitchen table. I made my way over and opened it, to my great surprise there was a ring in it and a small not written in familiar slanted writing.

'Life is short, it's time to start living it.

A.P.W.B.D'

I heard Cissa come back down stairs and quickly stuffed the box in my pocket.

"Draco seems to like his new bed. I can't believe he gave us a house of all things it was just what we needed a place to call our-"

"Will you marry me?" I couldn't help it just seeing her so happy made me want to keep her happy the rest of my life.

"Cissa, will you marry me?" I got down on one knee and slipped the velvet box from my pocket.

"Ye-" There was a loud bang and the front door came to the ground, Lucius stood in the doorway.

Just as things seem to be going perfectly something happens and that wall of comfort breaks down revealing the dark harsh reality.

-DAA DA DAAAA! Trouble ahead! Ext chapter may be posted a bit later I don't know!


	9. Chapter 9

Boom chapter nine, the last chapter is up. I want to thank you all for your support it has been wonderful to hear your comments :D

-Enjoy

When you are dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part. Happy endings are possible but never required. They are rare pieces of color in a black and white room, the comic relief in a melancholy movie, the sweetness at the bottom of the pie.

For me there is no color in this room, there is no comic relief, no sweetness in this pie, no, there is only the heart that was mended only to be broken and my hope that was restored only to go with her.

Earlier on I mentioned that this was a story of a man finding hope when hopeless this is partly true. I did find hope but I never said it stayed. She was my hope, and she is gone. Just like Lily, gone. I was glad to have that hope. Even if it wasn't for long I still had it. I had hope once and once was good enough for me.

I dream with a broken heart and my dreams haunt me. I see her face, her smile, I see her in a wedding gown, I see her with our children, I feel her beside me, her blue eyes looking into mine. In my dreams she is beside me always there living the life we should have had. But I wake…and she is gone. My dreams tease and trick me into believing she is there sleeping beside me. But she's gone.

Every time I wake I can't shake that feeling that she will be down those stairs, that she will be waiting for me. I am haunted by their blank eyes, their pail skin, their limp bodies, their no longer smiling mouths. I am haunted by visions of the past of where their eyes are bright, their skin glowing and warm, and their mouths laughing. And of a feature that can never be, a future of a wedding, our children, and friendship.

One green, one blue, both gone, both have passed their eyes on to their son's, eyes I will do anything in my power to keep from becoming like their mothers, this is what gives me the strength to wake every day, knowing that I have a job to do.

Now I suppose you want to hear what happened to Cissa, Lucius, Draco, and I though I think you can guess. There was a flash of green light, a sacrifice, a crying child, a crying man, a man made of darkness, and the last words of a one most loved.

Lucius stood in the doorway. Murder flashing in his eyes. He walked in, taking slow steps eyeing his prey.

"I do admit I didn't think you had it in you Narcissa, bravo truly bravo. I must watch you more closely this time. Come." He held his hand out to her.

"She's not going anywhere." I stood in front of her.

"You have no right to take my property snape." He slowly withdrew his wand from his cane. I was enraged.

"Your property? She is a human being she can't be owned. Neither can your son"

"The ring on her finger says otherwise." He inclined his head to Cissa's hand. " She belongs to me Severus. You have taken what is rightfully mine, my son included, hand them over and they will not be harmed in your presence."

"If I keep them none will be harmed at all." We were circling each other now. Cissa attempted to pull me back.

"Severus, stop this." "Lucius I will go." There were tears in her eyes, her worst fears had come true. She pulled me away and stepped from behind me.

"No Cissa." I pulled her behind me again. "Let me fight for you." She was hesitant but spoke.

"No Severus I won't let you die for me. I'm sorry…" She moved away once again, standing in-between Lucius and i.

"Lucius, I agree I will come home…I must get Draco…"

"No. Stay Narcissa we can get Draco later." Cissa didn't move a muscle.

"Smart girl." He spat the words out. He grabbed her roughly by the jaw and kissed her, my stomach churned.

"Don't you dare even touch her.." I growled at him.

"You are in no position to make threats Severus." He smiled.

I could not stand it any longer.

"Sectumsempra!" the hex barely missed his head.

He turned around murder once again flashing across his pail arrogant face. He released Cissa and raised his wand. He spoke first.

"You should keep the best spells to yourself." With that he shouted.

"SECTUM-"

There was a scream of "NO!" And I fell to the ground Cissa bleeding beside me.

Blood coated the floor. We heard shouts coming from the outside. Lucius ran , only to be captured in a fight with two auors.

"Cissa…No Cissa please." I crawled over to her and attempted to perform the counter curse but the damage was too deep I could only buy us time, and lessen her pain.

I held her bleeding body in my arms. She took gasping breaths and griped my robs.

"Cissa…Stay with me Dumbledore will be here any minute we…we can get you help…Cissa please!"

She was weakening and when she spoke I could barely hear her. She placed her hand on my cheek I held it there my tears falling onto it.

"S-Severus…Make me a promise…promise me you…you will move on…promise me you will find…find another woman…who treats you…like you deserve…promise me you will forget…" Her eyes began to close her hand was losing the little strength it had.

I shook her.

"No Cissa…I will always remember…" My heart was breaking. This couldn't be happening.

"I was…hoping you…would say…that…" She smiled a weak little smile and uttered her last words.

"I'm glad I could die in your arms…But…Living in them…would be so much better…" Her hand went limp and her heart stopped beating. So did mine.

Draco's sobs met my own. I rocked her limp body back and forth, all the while begging her to come back. Dumbledore came in only minutes after words and placed a hand on my shoulder tears falling silently down his face. He informed me that Lucius had been captured and would not be having a speedy release from Azkaban. He left only moments after words not being able to take another look at the tear jerking scene before him.

Hours passed and I stayed there not moving holding Cissa as close to me as possible. I took the ring from its velvet box and gently placed it on her hand. I carried her body in my arms and out to the garden and gently placed her in the grass. I cleaned the blood off of her and her clothing. I cast enchantments all around her building her a tomb of enchanted blue-bell flowers and preserving her body.

I went back inside and held Draco to my chest, I was all he had in the world now, we needed each other.

I carried Draco out to the garden to her grave, I held him as we both cried.

Years have passed, Draco is a man, Tom Riddle is vanquished, all is well but yet I still dream with a broken heart. And waking up has never gotten any easier.

When you are dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part.

Clarealbell-

I hope you all enjoyed the story!


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue

I still teach potions. It helps me get my mind off of things. Potions are a subtle science. There is no need for feelings it's just a simple equation, Oh how I wish my life was that simple. I wish there was no need to fill this hole in my heart, but there is, I wish there was a simple equation to mend it, but there isn't. Life isn't like a Potion, no matter how much I wish it where so.

Potions and Draco. Those are my main concerns. I watched Draco grow up and become the man he was always meant to be. I sit here in the house where I lost her waiting for a visit from Draco. He had said he would be bringing a surprise. I vaguely wondered what it would be but it wasn't my main concern, I wanted to know how we were doing on the grandchildren situation.

I desperately wanted to have grandchildren. After all my 67th birthday was approaching, I wasn't getting any younger. I don't know what it is but just the thought made my broken heart feel a little less broken. I think it's what Cissa would have wanted. Draco had gotten married last month on the anniversary of Cissa's death out in the garden. We thought she should be able to watch.

The ceremony was magical. Miss. Parkinson floated down to her husband and I had never seen my son look happier. I silently handed Draco the ring and he placed it onto Pansy's finger. I could have sworn I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder and a familiar catlike grin smiling down on us all.

I heard a small knock at the door. Draco was late as usual. I chuckled to myself and went to the door. I stepped back suddenly feeling dizzy. Standing next to Draco was a girl who was the mirror image of Cissa. I couldn't take it.

"W-wha? Draco...THIS ISNT FUNNY!" I couldn't breathe; the girl looked a little startled.

"Dad it's not a joke…Calm down. Sit and I will explain." I sat the look of horror still upon my face.

"Dad this is Natalie, Natalie this is a very shocked dad." He smiled and led her to the sofa.

"What is the meaning of this Draco?" I sounded harsher than I intended.

"Well this is my sister…Remember when mum told you 'He' took away the girl child? Well…I found her and she needs a place to stay."

"I really don't want to be a bother…" She had her voice. They looked exactly alike. Natalie had the same look of expectance Cissa did when we first met on the train.

"Do…" Tears where forming in my eyes. I cleared my throat. "Do you know what happened to your mother?" She shook her head no.

"I was hoping she would be here." She looked around hopefully.

I turned to Draco. "You didn't tell her…Why?"

"I couldn't bring myself to…She was so excited you see…I thought it would be best if you told her."

I sighed and took Natalie's hand. "Cissa is no longer with us…Your real father…He…" I hadn't talked about it in so long. I had always been in the back of my mind and I preferred to keep it that way. Before I could stop myself I burst into tears.

"Oh…Dad…Don't cry please…" Tears where forming in his eyes as well.

I stopped crying and looked into Natalie's eyes. "You look just like her." I caressed her cheek and smiled. "It's good to have a small piece of her back. Seeing as I won't have any grandchildren anytime soon." I shot a critical glance at Draco who shrank into his chair. "It would be nice to have some company."

She broke into a broad grin and hugged me. "Thank you so much…Dad." I hugged her back and suddenly became aware of how thin she was I could feel her ribs and spine. I pulled away.

"Didn't they feed you? Your foster parents I mean." She shook her head.

"They were murdered by Death Eaters. Ever sense then I have been making my own way around…It's been hard…I was working at the Hogshead when Draco found me."

"Well…Don't you worry; Draco and I will take good care of you." She smiled. She looked exhausted.

"Draco show Natalie to your mother's room. I am sure there are some clothes in the dresser ."

He nodded and took her upstairs. I found myself walking out to the garden. I stood in front of the bluebell covered grave.

"I wish you could see her Cissa…She looks just like you…" The wind blew through the trees and I could have sworn I heard a small whisper say.

"I can see all of you."

I picked a bluebell from the grave and let it blow away into the wind.

Draco placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Pansy just sent me an owl. Looks like you're going to get grandchildren after all."

I smiled. "It's about bloody time."


End file.
